When I was eight years old, I was abducted from a fast food restaurant by a man who took me, in all likelihood, because of a small splotch of mayonnaise on his hamburger. And so I believe in neither free will nor predetermination. I believe in condiments.

Michael Fiegel
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More Quotes By Michael Fiegel
  1. I am no king, and I am no lord, And I am no soldier at-arms, " said he." I'm none but a harper, and a very poor harper, That am come hither to wed with ye."" If you were a lord, you should be my...

  2. Marveling at his own boldness, he said softly, "I would enter your sleep if I could, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. But I cannot come...

  3. Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale.

  4. Real magic can never be made by offering someone else's liver. You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back.

  5. When I was alive, I believed – as you do – that time was at least as real and solid as myself, and probably more so. I said 'one o'clock' as though I could see it, and 'Monday' as though I could find it on...

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